K Date
by muishiki
Summary: Taylor goes to extreme measures to solve one final problem - Lisa's love life.


Lisa Wilbourn hated coming to this place. She'd long since stopped thinking of herself as Tattletale. In fact, very few capes were still active after the fight with Scion.

Lisa wished she could blame Amy for the current state of affairs. Deep down, she knew that she was really the one to blame. Or maybe it was her Passenger that was to blame. It didn't matter in the end. She was the one that convinced Amy that she could tinker with brains. It hadn't been hard, given that she'd already done so with her sister, Victoria. But getting her to agree to fix Glory Girl had been almost as hard as taking out the Slaughterhouse 9.

From there, it was pretty easy to get Amy to join the Undersiders. Eventually she figured out Amy could "fix" shards, giving power boosts to capes. They'd been unstoppable. Then Scion went mad.

They knew the end of the world was coming, and had even prepared for it, but they hadn't figured out how to effectively fight him, until Taylor stepped forward and volunteered.

A melodious voice greeted her. "Ah… Lisa. So nice to see you again." The voice was impossibly beautiful, and resonated with overtones that a single human voice couldn't produce naturally.

Lisa kneeled on the floor before the throne. It was a misnomer to call it a throne, really, as it was nothing more than a finely crafted captain's chair, though the proportions were off. She chose not to think of that too much. Such thoughts were dangerous. The room was pretty plain, too. The floor was cheap linoleum, covered in a throw rug from a local big box store, and the surroundings appointed with knock-off mid-century modernist furniture.

No. It wasn't the surroundings that made this a throne room. It was the presence of the… person before her.

"Please, Lisa. I hate it when my friends do that. Stand up."

Lisa stood. What she hated most is that she couldn't tell if it was because she wanted to, or because she was asked to. She refused to look up. That elicited a sigh.

"How have you been?"

"Fine." Lisa answered.

"Come now. There's no need to be so hostile." There was a pause. "Would you like some tea?"

Lisa wanted to say she didn't, but the fact was tea sounded really good right about now. Before she could voice a thought, however, someone came out of a side room with a single cup of tea in a plain white cup on a delicate matching saucer. The saucer was placed on a small force field in mid air, where it remained in midair, within easy reach.

The aroma smelled… divine.

Lisa grimaced.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't resist."

"I hate it when you do that." Lisa said.

"I know. I'm sorry." There was a pause. "I don't get to see you as often as I'd like."

"Well, that's to be expected, given…" she gestured around the room. "you know." Lisa hesitated, then reached for the tea. She didn't even need to cool it first, as it was exactly the right temperature. She took a sip.

"This is really good tea," Lisa said.

"Thanks. I was pretty sure you would like it." There was a pause. "I'd prefer to talk to you, rather than at you. Would it be too much to ask for you to look at me?"

Lisa hid a grimace, but she was sure that she didn't manage to hide from her counterpart. Setting down her tea, she looked up at her… friend. Taylor Hebert… no. Taylor was gone. Only Khepri remained. The person who stood before her only looked like her friend. The curly dark hair that spilled down her back did nothing to hide the two other faces sticking out of on either side of her head, though only the eyes on her forward face were open. Taylor had always been a tall girl, but now she towered over Lisa by nearly eighteen inches. Her wiry frame had filled out to be voluptuous without being obscene. Three sets of arms connected to her shoulders, though she stood on only two legs.

Lisa hated looking at her, because it reminded of too much about the sacrifice Taylor had willingly accepted in order to beat Scion. Taylor believed it necessary to absorb Doormaker and Clairvoyant to prevent a lucky shot from taking her out of the fight, and to prevent the deleterious effects Clairvoyant's power had on the human brain. Lisa had been the one to help Amy and Bonesaw figure out how to integrating three minds into one body. The leftover mass had been used to sculpt Taylor's current form. It had worked. Though no one liked being mastered, the fact that she'd been able to beat Scion handily had cause for celebration. Now, however, people privately wondered if it would have been kinder just to let Scion win.

A slight smile graced Khepri's face.

Lisa smiled. "I hate it when you do that."

Khepri shrugged. It was interesting to watch how one set of shoulders supported six arms. "I can't help it. You know what it is like."

Lisa nodded. "I do."

"Would you like..."

"No," Lisa interrupted. "I'm happier now. You were right."

"I'm glad to hear that." Khepri didn't acknowledge Lisa's statement. That was about as close to gloating as she came these days. "Speaking of happiness, I'd like to introduce you to someone. He's from Earth Omicron. I'm very certain you two will get along well."

And here it was. Lisa felt her stomach drop.

"Look, Taylor… I appreciate what you are trying to do, but…"

This time Khepri interrupted. "You'll be very happy."

"95.6% chance, right?" Lisa asked. She couldn't keep the snark out of her voice.

"No, actually." Khepri said. "In this instance, you have a 98.9% of being very happy."

That shut Lisa up. "Goddamit, Taylor? Why can't you let us be miserable?"

Khepri sighed. "Unfortunately, that is not what the Path requires. You knew what would happen when you agreed to this so long ago."

"But I don't want this, Taylor." Lisa said.

"Now you're just whining. You know you do."

Lisa sighed. Taylor was right, of course. It was funny how Lisa thought of Khepri and Taylor as two separate people. In a ironic twist, she was generally only Taylor when Lisa was trying to convince her not to do something that would make Lisa happy.

There was no way out of this. Oh, Lisa could refuse. Khepri would allow her that illusion of autonomy. But, if she did, she'd have no way of knowing if she were being manipulated into meeting this person at some point. And she was quite certain they would meet. A series of unlikely coincidences would occur, and continue to occur, until she gave in to the inevitable. At least this way, she knew that she was acting of her own volition. As much as she could be sure of that, anyway.

Khepri allowed people to believe they had autonomy. Lisa knew better. There was no autonomy any more, only steps on her Path. Anyone who believed that they were anything other than a pawn was delusional, or worse, happy to have an excuse to defer personal responsibility.

There just simply wasn't room for conflict anymore. Khepri saw to that. The population of humans and Parahumans had been dramatically reduced by Scion, and Khepri made sure that the natural parahuman instinct to seek conflict was tamped down. Hard. There hadn't been a single instance of conflict in the ten years since Scion's defeat. The murder rate across the known multiverse was practically zero. Khepri wasn't infallible, but damn close enough that nobody even tried anymore.

They said the best form of government was a benevolent tyrant. Khepri proved that to be the absolute truth.

Khepri didn't retain control of all the parahumans, like she had with the fight against Scion. She simply tapped into their shards and made use of their abilities - often without them noticing. And worse, she was using the abilities to make people cooperate. And people hated it.

She had kept a few, though. The CIU, for instance. They remained under her thrall, adding their power to hers. The Endbringers, too, were firmly under Khepri's control. Cauldron ceased to exist. Contessa's Path to Victory and the Numberman's abilities were too dangerous to let go of, so they joined the CIU in confinement, which, ironically enough, was the lowest level of Cauldron's former headquarters.

Those that were too dangerous or simply unwilling to concede to the new world order were visited by Glaistig Uaine. Once.

That didn't sit right with Lisa, but then again, there wasn't much she could do about it. With the Administrator shard, the Doormaker's shard, the Clarvoyant's shard, and her thinkers and others kept in thrall, there wasn't a force in the world strong enough to take on Khepri. Particularly when she could take control of anyone, anywhere, at any time. She'd all but eradicated conflict - and nothing made people hate a tyrant like peace.

Lisa knew what her ultimate goal was. She even approved. But, knowing and living it were two different things.

"Do I want to know what's in store for me?"

Khepri shook her head. "You are better off not knowing. You will be happy, I promise."

"Fine." Lisa said. "I'll meet him."

A door opened as soon as she said it. Out stepped a very handsome man. Tall, with dark hair. Indeterminate racial origin, though his high cheekbones and profile were striking. He was fit, but not overly muscular. But that was it. Lisa couldn't get any other information out of him, even when she opened her power up and actively tried.

He spotted her instantly, of course. He examined her as closely as she examined him.

Finally, he stepped forward and extended his hand. "Hi, I'm Gitlam," he said.

Lisa shook his hand. He had a firm handshake, and hands that were calloused but not rough. "Lisa," she said. "A pleasure."

His voice was a pleasant baritone. He was just about four inches taller than her, a nice height difference that would make certain activities much more ergonomical. She was intrigued. She felt a twinge of something she'd not felt since she'd had her trigger.

"So, what are your powers?" Lisa asked?

"I create a field around me that prevents Thinker abilities from functioning. We aren't sure how it works, exactly, since thinkers can't study it, directly or indirectly." He nodded briefly in Khepri's direction. "Present company excepted, of course."

"Of course." Lisa's lips twitched into a hint of a smile.

"Yours?" He inquired.

"Thinker." She said. "Information extrapolation and analysis. My power fills in information gaps."

He frowned slightly. "Automatically?"

She nodded. "At least, until Panacea helped out."

He shook his head. "That must have been rough."

Before they could continue their conversation, however, Khepri interrupted. "Where would you like me to send you?"

Lisa shrugged. She hadn't thought about going anywhere yet.

"I know this place in my hometown that serves delicious Sumerian. I understand their civilization declined on your Earth a long time ago due to soil salinity issues. They managed to retain a distinctive culture on Omicron, though they are but a shadow of their previous glory. They do wonderful things with grains and pulses, though."

"Sounds lovely. Thank you."

A door sprang up behind them. He offered his hand. Lisa took it, and stepped through. The door closed behind them.

Taylor relaxed back into her chair, and removed a list from her pocket. She didn't need the list to know how many steps were necessary on her path to teach humanity how to cooperate, but it felt good to check something off her list. Particularly when it was as pleasant a step as getting her friend a date.

Now, only two billion, six hundred forty-seven thousand, three hundred seventy-two steps left to teach humanity how to cooperate in order to prevent humanity from destroying itself.

A/N - ficlet. Complete. I have no intention of expanding this. The idea popped into my head - what would be the world's most effective dating service? Khepri, of course. You either liked your date, or you were made to like your date.

This starts with the premise that rather than during the desperate last battle with Scion, Amy learns that she can fix shards earlier and starts with others. By the time she gets to Taylor, she's perfected the process and manages to turn Taylor into Khepri without the negative consequences. As a result, Taylor, using the fixed shards of the various parahumans under her control, decides to solve one final problem - Lisa's love life.


End file.
